#I have what I think is a better Crygi on deck at some point it definitely reads more baby model than this one

[lady-assnali]

Hi! I kind of hit a wall this week with my workload but I wanted to get something Crygi out desperately because it’s been so long! Here’s some pining Crystal for you! 

           “She’s so pretty.” Jan perks up at the sound of Crystal’s voice approaching. She’s nursing some kind of colorful cocktail, a completely different order than her usual. Her eyes are practically glowing with hearts as she glances across the bar, and Jan doesn’t even have to look to know who her friend is talking about.

           Gigi’s mingling with a mixed group of people, her friend Symone the forefront of it all. The semi-newcomer had just flown in from L.A the night before for work, and Gigi, as usual, is making it her mission to ensure that her L.A friends have as familiar, safe faces to come to in New York as possible.

           Because of course she does. Because she’s kind, and thoughtful, and the thought that she’d planned this outing just to make her friend feel more at home on this trip is enough to make Crystal well up with a strong surge of the tenderness that’s been building inside of her for longer than she’d care to remember.

           Maybe it’s the alcohol.

           Maybe it’s the way Gigi carries herself, posture relaxed among her friends and yet still so poised. She’d made herself her outfit for the night, a white corset top and matching bell-bottomed pants with a long slit down both legs. She’d paraded around her apartment in them beforehand, proudly spinning and swishing and asking Crystal what she’d thought. She doesn’t even remember what she’d said, too stuck in her own thoughts to voice her opinion past the breath caught in her throat.

           It’s bad. She knows it’s bad because she can barely even spend time in the same room as her best friend now without second-guessing every one of their interactions. Which she supposes is perfectly fine seeing as said best friend travels a decent amount for work. So she gets some time to sit in her thoughts, wait for their daily phone calls and then pester herself about her feelings all over again. So things are going just about as well as they can for Crystal.

           She takes a long sip of her drink and Jan pats the stool next to her, practically dragging Crystal up to sit. Jan watches her friend with interest. It’s been two weeks since Crystal had admitted her long lived crush on their friend, and though she definitely guessed it before it’s very clear now. Crystal’s a magnetized force to Gigi, grinning endearingly every time she glances over. At one point, she cracks a ridiculous smile when Gigi laughs at something the group of people she’s with is talking about, and that’s when Jan twists her stool around.

           “Crystal Methyd!” She hisses, glaring at her teasingly. “You can’t keep staring over there! It’s getting a little weird.”

           “I wasn’t doing anything!”

           “You were, I can practically see your heart hanging out of your eyes at this point.”

           Crystal makes an indignant little snort, closing her eyes.

“Now you can’t see anything.”

“Just eat some of these fries and let me tell you about the man who tried to tip me with Monopoly money at Goona’s last week.”

…

“Found you!”

Jan sidles up to Crystal, who’d abandoned her to use the bathroom. She’d realized it had been a while when she’d finished her own drink, too occupied by Jackie striking up a conversation to notice that her friend had been missing for just a little too long. Jan gestures for Jackie to follow her through the throng of people to search for her, rolling her eyes in the process. She hadn’t thought she’d be babysitting tonight, but saving Crystal from a drunken confession is worth the extra bit of effort.  When they finally find Crystal she’s standing next to Rose and Mik but doesn’t seem to be involved in their conversation whatsoever. Jackie joins in, however, giving Jan the opportunity to shuffle Crystal over a bit for more privacy. Her friend starts scanning a leaflet for the bar’s upcoming events, drumming her fingertips on the counter thoughtfully.

“I’m going to tell her.”

Jan needs no explanation. She’s been listening to Crystal long enough tonight to know that apparently, tequila makes her far too truthful for her own good. She’d recounted several stories from the past year; Gigi being away, Gigi bonding with Nicky, Gigi keeping up their Snapchat streak even though neither of them uses the app for anything else. Later on, when they’ve tucked Crystal into bed on Jan’s couch, she’ll delicately describe the situation between her two friends as ‘something that can’t possibly go on much longer.’ For now, she puts a hand on Crystal’s shoulder.

“You’re not going to do that.”

“I think I have to.”

“You don’t have to do that. You shouldn’t do that.” Crystal’s face shifts from determination to utter heartbreak in less than five seconds, and Jan instantly regrets her choice of wording with someone in a state of alcohol-induced fragility.

“You have to do it, Crystal, but not tonight.” She gestures to where Gigi is holding court with a few of her newer friends, perched on the edge of the bar’s little stage. She’s incomparably bright tonight, surprisingly in her element. Taking care of her friends brings out this confidence in her that builds until she’s practically glowing with it, and Jan knows that she’s absolutely infectious in these moments. She’s also spent the past two hours listening to the tipsy confession, suddenly an expert on the topic.

“I don’t think I can be her friend like this much longer.”

“I understand that, honey, but think about it for a second. You’re not sober-and that’s fine. It’s a party, we’re drinking, you’re being safe…but imagine what it would feel like for Gigi to have you walking over there confessing all of these things after you’d been drinking. Have you ever had someone say something drunk that made you just…uncomfortable? Something you know they wouldn’t have said sober?”

“You know I live with Daya, right?”

“Exactly.”

“Gigi deserves better than me.”

“No, no, that’s not the point!” Jan puts her hands on Crystal’s shoulders, her eyes on fire with a mixture of love and discipline that’s unceremoniously become a trademark of hers.

“You deserve the world.” She continues, locking Crystal’s gaze onto her own. “But the romantic side to your story with Gigi is not going to start with some drunken confession at a party. It’s not. You’ve loved each other too long for that to happen. You both deserve better, and somewhere underneath that tequila you’ve had you know that.”

“You’re right.”

“What was that?”

“I think I want to go home.” Crystal says, nodding her head at her own decision. “I think maybe that’s the best idea for tonight.”

“Let me take you.” She moves to tap Jackie on her shoulder, saying goodbye to the group. She’s confused when Jackie follows.

“I thought I could help.” The older woman gestures to Crystal, who has crossed the bar to say goodbye to Gigi and Symone. They stand in a lingering hug, the girls only able to see Gigi’s hand on Crystal’s head, the way she whispers in Crystal’s ear though her enamored smile. When Crystal returns Jan can see the exhaustion in her eyes, the way her posture has deflated the slightest bit. She’s still holding on to her bubbly exterior, throwing goodbyes in every direction, but she’s not the same.

Jan directs them all to her apartment, insisting Crystal stay the night.

“You need company.” She orders. And when Jan suggests things, her friends know not to take them lightly. She’s usually right, anyway.

Jackie sets out some water and aspirin, instructing her to take them just in case while Jan lends her sweatpants and a shirt to sleep in. They toss her some blankets and sit beside her somewhat awkwardly, Jan on the floor and Jackie perched on the arm of the couch. They distract her, chatting about the party and plans for the next day while Crystal drifts off to sleep. Jan sighs in relief when Crystal starts snoring, closing her eyes in satisfaction.

“What you did for Crystal tonight…that was really, really nice.” Jackie slips down to sit on the floor beside Jan, their hands just barely touching. Jan blushes, shaking her head.

“Anyone would have done it.”

“Nobody in that bar even noticed what was happening. We’re not idiots, we know they like each other even if Crystal’s never said anything to us. You know her enough to know what tequila does to her and you spent that party making sure she wasn’t going to ruin anything. That’s pretty incredible, Jan.”

“I just want them to be happy.”

“You’re a really good person. I know you love to meddle,”

“-I really do.”

“But you weren’t tonight. You tell me all the time that people call you nosy, but they just don’t see what you see. You know when to step in. You know when to mind your business. I wouldn’t have known what to do for Crystal tonight. You don’t give yourself nearly as much credit as you should.”

It’s nearly enough to make Jan cry; the tone of Jackie’s voice. Her eyes are warm in the way Jan’s been wanting to be looked at her whole life. If she squints, she’s sure she can make herself believe that Jackie might look at her like that forever. But she doesn’t. Jackie moves her hand, pushing herself up from the floor.

“I should go-I have a long walk.” They both chuckle; they’d discovered that they live just a few blocks from each other when they’d been introduced just a few months ago. The long walk had quickly become a running joke between them.

Jan walks Jackie to the door, thanking her again for her help. She watches Jackie until she opens the door to the staircase, and then lingers in her own doorway for a moment.

And if her heart is fluttering, she chooses to ignore it-for now.